I have been doing a lot of thinking. About Adele. I often stop to reflect on the songs I know so well and whose lyrics I take for granted and sometimes I end up feeling ashamed for singing a song that turns out to be racist, sexist, misogynistic, hateful or judgmental. I love to grow. I change as soon as I find something that needs changing. 

Today, I make a pledge never to listen to Adele’s “Hello” ever again. Not just for me. For the many women in committed relationships with men who have once dated people like Adele. We know that men, Nigerian men especially, are weak. They fall into old patterns and the last thing you want is his crazy ex coming back into his life. You may fight and win your man back, but not after he has paid a few visits to the scene of the old crime. 

Let me not bore you. Join me as I break down the lyrics of the Adele song and lay the foundation for a law possibly banning Adele on our holy airwaves. (Because, we ban sexually explicit songs and Adele is far more dangerous than something like sex)

Hello, it’s me.

Ok. This is perhaps the only innocent line in the song. It gets messy right after. Brace yourselves. 

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet.

All these years? You just show up, out of the blue, not even asking: are you seeing someone, are you married, did you give your life to Christ, become a priest? She shows up like an agent of the devil, to “meet”. Not even something easy, like, can we chat on WhatsApp, or can we Skype? She wants to meet. If he says no, he is petty. If he says yes, well, that is how a handshake turns into a hug.

To go over everything.

Is it midterm exams? Why do you want to go over something that finished many years ago? Why?

They say that time’s supposed to heal ya (she can’t even speak in complete words, so disrespectful) But I ain’t done much healing.

What if he has healed? So you want to use a knife and peel the scar so that you will both reach the same level of injury? Or what? Can’t you heal on your own? Or speak to a therapist? Or give your life to Christ and forsake all worldly pleasures?

I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be.

A dream happens to only one person because it is private. This is how God designed it. Why allow the devil use you to cause a brother to have adulterous thoughts because your dreams about the past persist. Normal people dream wake up, smile, and get on with their day. Adele wants to call someone she left years ago. And ruin their lives.

There’s such a difference between us, and a million miles

So he should do what now? Leave his girlfriend or wife, lie that he has a business meeting, board a plane and come and meet you? What if he crashes in the process? What will the blogs say? He was a cheater going to see his old lover when he died. They will call it karma, especially in the comments section where everyone says their mind. And he will go straight from the crash site to hell fire. Did Adele think this thing through?

I must have called a thousand times…

Don't you just hate people who keep calling? Can’t they just send an SMS and wait for you to call back? The worst part is that the guy would be with his phone ignoring the call and that is when his girlfriend will start suspecting stuff. Every man knows that it is not the calls you take that you are suspected for, but the calls you don't take. She will want to know who that person is that you cannot speak to them in front of her. And that is how trouble on the home front starts.

It’s so typical of me to talk about myself, I’m sorry. 

At this point I am only happy Adele knows she has a problem. Because a problem identified is a problem half solved. I just wish her recovery. 

I will stop the analysis here. I believe I have made my point. 


Whether Adele finds healing or not however we must do something about this song being on our airwaves. We need to send a strong statement to our young men and women that this is just unacceptable. And this is not about women. There is an Adele in every man and woman. You just need to find it and root it out before it causes you to sin. Even the scriptures say, if your right hand is causing you to sin, cut it off. For those who have an Adele in their lives or the lives of their partners, I pray that the good lord gives you the strength to overcome. 

WHY ADELE MUST BE BANNED IN NIGERIA

Posted at  09.25 - by Unknown


I have been doing a lot of thinking. About Adele. I often stop to reflect on the songs I know so well and whose lyrics I take for granted and sometimes I end up feeling ashamed for singing a song that turns out to be racist, sexist, misogynistic, hateful or judgmental. I love to grow. I change as soon as I find something that needs changing. 

Today, I make a pledge never to listen to Adele’s “Hello” ever again. Not just for me. For the many women in committed relationships with men who have once dated people like Adele. We know that men, Nigerian men especially, are weak. They fall into old patterns and the last thing you want is his crazy ex coming back into his life. You may fight and win your man back, but not after he has paid a few visits to the scene of the old crime. 

Let me not bore you. Join me as I break down the lyrics of the Adele song and lay the foundation for a law possibly banning Adele on our holy airwaves. (Because, we ban sexually explicit songs and Adele is far more dangerous than something like sex)

Hello, it’s me.

Ok. This is perhaps the only innocent line in the song. It gets messy right after. Brace yourselves. 

I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet.

All these years? You just show up, out of the blue, not even asking: are you seeing someone, are you married, did you give your life to Christ, become a priest? She shows up like an agent of the devil, to “meet”. Not even something easy, like, can we chat on WhatsApp, or can we Skype? She wants to meet. If he says no, he is petty. If he says yes, well, that is how a handshake turns into a hug.

To go over everything.

Is it midterm exams? Why do you want to go over something that finished many years ago? Why?

They say that time’s supposed to heal ya (she can’t even speak in complete words, so disrespectful) But I ain’t done much healing.

What if he has healed? So you want to use a knife and peel the scar so that you will both reach the same level of injury? Or what? Can’t you heal on your own? Or speak to a therapist? Or give your life to Christ and forsake all worldly pleasures?

I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be.

A dream happens to only one person because it is private. This is how God designed it. Why allow the devil use you to cause a brother to have adulterous thoughts because your dreams about the past persist. Normal people dream wake up, smile, and get on with their day. Adele wants to call someone she left years ago. And ruin their lives.

There’s such a difference between us, and a million miles

So he should do what now? Leave his girlfriend or wife, lie that he has a business meeting, board a plane and come and meet you? What if he crashes in the process? What will the blogs say? He was a cheater going to see his old lover when he died. They will call it karma, especially in the comments section where everyone says their mind. And he will go straight from the crash site to hell fire. Did Adele think this thing through?

I must have called a thousand times…

Don't you just hate people who keep calling? Can’t they just send an SMS and wait for you to call back? The worst part is that the guy would be with his phone ignoring the call and that is when his girlfriend will start suspecting stuff. Every man knows that it is not the calls you take that you are suspected for, but the calls you don't take. She will want to know who that person is that you cannot speak to them in front of her. And that is how trouble on the home front starts.

It’s so typical of me to talk about myself, I’m sorry. 

At this point I am only happy Adele knows she has a problem. Because a problem identified is a problem half solved. I just wish her recovery. 

I will stop the analysis here. I believe I have made my point. 


Whether Adele finds healing or not however we must do something about this song being on our airwaves. We need to send a strong statement to our young men and women that this is just unacceptable. And this is not about women. There is an Adele in every man and woman. You just need to find it and root it out before it causes you to sin. Even the scriptures say, if your right hand is causing you to sin, cut it off. For those who have an Adele in their lives or the lives of their partners, I pray that the good lord gives you the strength to overcome. 

The Week in Links 5/13/16: Agent Carter, Horror Holidays, Skydiving Quidditch

Posted at  08.51 - by Unknown

My daughter is going to school this year. It will be a lot of change in my life. I would like to get her ready for the school in this coming September. We are able to try the new Kids Academy app. The app is super cute and very attractive. It is a very cool app and help kids learn math an easy way.


 Here's the message from Kids Academy:
Kids Academy Releases #1 Math Games: Singapore Math App for Android and Updates iOS Version of Math Games App for Kids in Preschool & Kindergarten! Kids Academy is a well-known mobile app developer working in the sphere of children’s early education. The team combines all the expertise, creativity and truly remarkable skills to develop a wide range of best educational games and fun worksheets for kids. The great news is that the team just released the long-awaited update #1 Math Games: Singapore Maths App for Kids in Preschool & Kindergarten - iOS version of the app. 

This best math app for kids in preschool and kindergarten offers a great variety of fun educational games for kids. Children will get a fantastic chance to:
• train their brains • enhance their attention and concentration • improve their cognitive skills • learn to follow instructions
While playing the fun math games, little mathematicians will grasp their numbers, addition and subtraction facts in a fun and enjoyable way. Kids will trace numbers, master their geometric shapes, practice skip counting and acquire other useful skills too. The cool math games by Kids Academy are based on the famous Singapore Math method. They help children visualize math problems and solve them in a simple way. You can find a number of best educational apps for children by Kids Academy featured in the Family section of the Android store in the USA, Australia and Canada. This featuring is a reliable indicator of high quality and value of the fun educational games created by this team.

NEWLY RELEASED

We have more terrific news from Kids Academy. Available mid-May 2016 is the long-awaited Android version of their cool #1 Math Games: Singapore Maths App.

It is a great way to help my kids learn 
The app is very cute. It drawn my daughter's attention right away. She was so excited. The music and graphics are nice. The way the app try to teach the kids is very easy to understand. I would really recommended this app. Too bad that there is only 30 days free trial. The app is quite big so make sure you have enough space on your device. Awesome app and worth a try.

This app has it all! It boasts hundreds of new cool math games, videos and interactive surprises. Your kid is sure to love the new innovative system of motivation and rewards, lively music, colorful graphics and amusing animation. Parents will be happy too – while kids play the new fun math games, they will not need any assistance from grown-up.

FREE PRINTABLE WORKSHEETS


But that's not all. You can also try out the impressive collection of free printable worksheets and educational games on Kids Academy website. View a great variety of pre-school and kindergarten worksheets by topic and choose the perfect printables for your little learners. Download and print out the fun worksheets and give your kid a wonderful head start on math, writing, reading and other useful skills.

Click here to check out the Free cute worksheets for learning kids.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsor post. I received compensation as part of my participation in this campaign. However, the stories and opinions are my own.

Kids Academy app plus free worksheets for learning kids #Review #MathApp

Posted at  23.53 - by Unknown

My daughter is going to school this year. It will be a lot of change in my life. I would like to get her ready for the school in this coming September. We are able to try the new Kids Academy app. The app is super cute and very attractive. It is a very cool app and help kids learn math an easy way.


 Here's the message from Kids Academy:
Kids Academy Releases #1 Math Games: Singapore Math App for Android and Updates iOS Version of Math Games App for Kids in Preschool & Kindergarten! Kids Academy is a well-known mobile app developer working in the sphere of children’s early education. The team combines all the expertise, creativity and truly remarkable skills to develop a wide range of best educational games and fun worksheets for kids. The great news is that the team just released the long-awaited update #1 Math Games: Singapore Maths App for Kids in Preschool & Kindergarten - iOS version of the app. 

This best math app for kids in preschool and kindergarten offers a great variety of fun educational games for kids. Children will get a fantastic chance to:
• train their brains • enhance their attention and concentration • improve their cognitive skills • learn to follow instructions
While playing the fun math games, little mathematicians will grasp their numbers, addition and subtraction facts in a fun and enjoyable way. Kids will trace numbers, master their geometric shapes, practice skip counting and acquire other useful skills too. The cool math games by Kids Academy are based on the famous Singapore Math method. They help children visualize math problems and solve them in a simple way. You can find a number of best educational apps for children by Kids Academy featured in the Family section of the Android store in the USA, Australia and Canada. This featuring is a reliable indicator of high quality and value of the fun educational games created by this team.

NEWLY RELEASED

We have more terrific news from Kids Academy. Available mid-May 2016 is the long-awaited Android version of their cool #1 Math Games: Singapore Maths App.

It is a great way to help my kids learn 
The app is very cute. It drawn my daughter's attention right away. She was so excited. The music and graphics are nice. The way the app try to teach the kids is very easy to understand. I would really recommended this app. Too bad that there is only 30 days free trial. The app is quite big so make sure you have enough space on your device. Awesome app and worth a try.

This app has it all! It boasts hundreds of new cool math games, videos and interactive surprises. Your kid is sure to love the new innovative system of motivation and rewards, lively music, colorful graphics and amusing animation. Parents will be happy too – while kids play the new fun math games, they will not need any assistance from grown-up.

FREE PRINTABLE WORKSHEETS


But that's not all. You can also try out the impressive collection of free printable worksheets and educational games on Kids Academy website. View a great variety of pre-school and kindergarten worksheets by topic and choose the perfect printables for your little learners. Download and print out the fun worksheets and give your kid a wonderful head start on math, writing, reading and other useful skills.

Click here to check out the Free cute worksheets for learning kids.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsor post. I received compensation as part of my participation in this campaign. However, the stories and opinions are my own.





Title: The Neverland Wars
Author: Audrey Greathouse
Genres: Fairy Tales, Retelling, Young Adult

Magic can do a lot—give you flight, show you mermaids, help you taste the stars, and… solve the budget crisis? That’s what the grown-ups will do with it if they ever make it to Neverland to steal its magic and bring their children home.

However, Gwen doesn’t know this. She’s just a sixteen-year-old girl with a place on the debate team and a powerful crush on Jay, the soon-to-be homecoming king. She doesn’t know her little sister could actually run away with Peter Pan, or that she might have to chase after her to bring her home safe. Gwen will find out though—and when she does, she’ll discover she’s in the middle of a looming war between Neverland and reality.

She’ll be out of place as a teenager in Neverland, but she won’t be the only one. Peter Pan’s constant treks back to the mainland have slowly aged him into adolescence as well. Soon, Gwen will have to decide whether she’s going to join impish, playful Peter in his fight for eternal youth… or if she’s going to scramble back to reality in time for the homecoming dance.




A chill crept down Gwen’s spine, and her eyes could not refocus fast enough. She clutched fistfuls of Rosemary’s quilt, instinctively preparing to throw herself under it if there was a monster lurking in the dark. Gwen wasn’t afraid in the normal sense of the term, but her heart raced as she noticed the boy sitting on the rocking chair in the corner of the room.

The chair rocked with a squeak as he stood up from it. Walking slowly toward the window, he came into view as he entered the moonlight. He stared at Gwen, and she stared back.

His eyes were steady in their intensity, but impish in all other manners. They impulsively surveyed the room, never lingering on any particular aspect of it, but always coming back to Gwen. A vine of ivy was wrapped around his waist and strewn across his shoulder like a belt and sash, just barely holding his tattered shirt and shorts to him. His clothes seemed held together with bits of twine and magic. He moved fluidly in his own skin. Gwen wasn’t even conscious of how much she envied his playful motion. Even with his gangly, broad shoulders, he stood tall with a childish sense of confidence.

Gwen wasn’t sure, but he looked like a freshman. He couldn’t have been younger than fourteen.

He wore hemp bracelets and braided jewelry around his wrists; pine-cone chips and wooden beads were woven into his necklace. They jangled as he walked.

“This is your sister?” he asked, his question seemed rudely incredulous. “Hollyhock, let me see her.”

Before Gwen could make sense of this remark, an exploding light burst from an inexplicable place in the darkness. Gwen was disoriented when the light came so quickly at her. Circling up around her, the golden light left a trail of fast dissolving glitter that rained down on her. What little of it touched her glowed faintly on her skin before disappearing. It felt like a pins-and-needles numbness in the best possible way.

The bright light that radiated from Hollyhock’s little body half-blinded Gwen in the otherwise dark room, but Hollyhock flitted in front of her, and Gwen caught a glimpse of the creature. Her eyes were unusually wide, and her massive irises were an otherworldly color for which Gwen had no name. Her itty-bitty lips and nose were hardly there at all, but her sunny hair was pulled back in two long, dangling braids. Her limbs were like twigs, and she wore a leaf draped over her like a tunic. Gwen didn’t need to be told that she was looking at a fairy.

“Huh,” he responded, sitting down on the hardwood floor of Rosemary’s room. “You said your sister was a kid.”

“She is, Peter!” Rosemary defended. “I told you—she’s a big kid.”

Finally addressing her properly, Peter spoke to Gwen in a condescending tone. “I expected you to be younger.”

“As did I of you,” Gwen curtly returned.

Peter, the young man, shrugged with his eyebrows and looked away, indicating that he was not going to bother engaging a hostile girl.

Gwen didn’t care. She couldn’t have cared. While Hollyhock played in the fish mobile above the bed like an aquatic merry-go-round, Gwen clutched Rosemary close to her. “Rosemary, we were so worried! Thank God you came back.”

“I had to come back, Gwenny,” Rosemary told her. “I had to come back for you.” Hollyhock, tiring of the mobile, zipped back down and buried herself in Rosemary’s hair, poking her head out of it and trying to part it like curtains. Rosemary giggled, taking Gwen’s hand. “Let’s go.”

“Whoa, wait, no.” Gwen grabbed hold of Rosemary’s arm. “We’re not going anywhere. Mom and Dad are worried about you. The cops were here… You can’t go—where?”

Hollyhock, on Rosemary’s shoulder, said something that sounded like a sneeze and a hum. Rosemary translated the one word she had already learned in the fairy tongue. “Neverland.”



Audrey Greathouse is a lost child in a perpetual and footloose quest for her own post-adolescent Neverland. Originally from Seattle, she earned her English B.A. from Southern New Hampshire University's online program while backpacking around the west coast and pretending to be a student at Stanford. A pianist, circus artist, fire-eater, street mime, swing dancer, and novelist, Audrey wears many hats wherever she is. She has grand hopes for the future which include publishing more books and owning a crockpot. You can find her at audreygreathouse.com

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The Neverland Wars by Audrey Greathouse

Posted at  21.31 - by Unknown





Title: The Neverland Wars
Author: Audrey Greathouse
Genres: Fairy Tales, Retelling, Young Adult

Magic can do a lot—give you flight, show you mermaids, help you taste the stars, and… solve the budget crisis? That’s what the grown-ups will do with it if they ever make it to Neverland to steal its magic and bring their children home.

However, Gwen doesn’t know this. She’s just a sixteen-year-old girl with a place on the debate team and a powerful crush on Jay, the soon-to-be homecoming king. She doesn’t know her little sister could actually run away with Peter Pan, or that she might have to chase after her to bring her home safe. Gwen will find out though—and when she does, she’ll discover she’s in the middle of a looming war between Neverland and reality.

She’ll be out of place as a teenager in Neverland, but she won’t be the only one. Peter Pan’s constant treks back to the mainland have slowly aged him into adolescence as well. Soon, Gwen will have to decide whether she’s going to join impish, playful Peter in his fight for eternal youth… or if she’s going to scramble back to reality in time for the homecoming dance.




A chill crept down Gwen’s spine, and her eyes could not refocus fast enough. She clutched fistfuls of Rosemary’s quilt, instinctively preparing to throw herself under it if there was a monster lurking in the dark. Gwen wasn’t afraid in the normal sense of the term, but her heart raced as she noticed the boy sitting on the rocking chair in the corner of the room.

The chair rocked with a squeak as he stood up from it. Walking slowly toward the window, he came into view as he entered the moonlight. He stared at Gwen, and she stared back.

His eyes were steady in their intensity, but impish in all other manners. They impulsively surveyed the room, never lingering on any particular aspect of it, but always coming back to Gwen. A vine of ivy was wrapped around his waist and strewn across his shoulder like a belt and sash, just barely holding his tattered shirt and shorts to him. His clothes seemed held together with bits of twine and magic. He moved fluidly in his own skin. Gwen wasn’t even conscious of how much she envied his playful motion. Even with his gangly, broad shoulders, he stood tall with a childish sense of confidence.

Gwen wasn’t sure, but he looked like a freshman. He couldn’t have been younger than fourteen.

He wore hemp bracelets and braided jewelry around his wrists; pine-cone chips and wooden beads were woven into his necklace. They jangled as he walked.

“This is your sister?” he asked, his question seemed rudely incredulous. “Hollyhock, let me see her.”

Before Gwen could make sense of this remark, an exploding light burst from an inexplicable place in the darkness. Gwen was disoriented when the light came so quickly at her. Circling up around her, the golden light left a trail of fast dissolving glitter that rained down on her. What little of it touched her glowed faintly on her skin before disappearing. It felt like a pins-and-needles numbness in the best possible way.

The bright light that radiated from Hollyhock’s little body half-blinded Gwen in the otherwise dark room, but Hollyhock flitted in front of her, and Gwen caught a glimpse of the creature. Her eyes were unusually wide, and her massive irises were an otherworldly color for which Gwen had no name. Her itty-bitty lips and nose were hardly there at all, but her sunny hair was pulled back in two long, dangling braids. Her limbs were like twigs, and she wore a leaf draped over her like a tunic. Gwen didn’t need to be told that she was looking at a fairy.

“Huh,” he responded, sitting down on the hardwood floor of Rosemary’s room. “You said your sister was a kid.”

“She is, Peter!” Rosemary defended. “I told you—she’s a big kid.”

Finally addressing her properly, Peter spoke to Gwen in a condescending tone. “I expected you to be younger.”

“As did I of you,” Gwen curtly returned.

Peter, the young man, shrugged with his eyebrows and looked away, indicating that he was not going to bother engaging a hostile girl.

Gwen didn’t care. She couldn’t have cared. While Hollyhock played in the fish mobile above the bed like an aquatic merry-go-round, Gwen clutched Rosemary close to her. “Rosemary, we were so worried! Thank God you came back.”

“I had to come back, Gwenny,” Rosemary told her. “I had to come back for you.” Hollyhock, tiring of the mobile, zipped back down and buried herself in Rosemary’s hair, poking her head out of it and trying to part it like curtains. Rosemary giggled, taking Gwen’s hand. “Let’s go.”

“Whoa, wait, no.” Gwen grabbed hold of Rosemary’s arm. “We’re not going anywhere. Mom and Dad are worried about you. The cops were here… You can’t go—where?”

Hollyhock, on Rosemary’s shoulder, said something that sounded like a sneeze and a hum. Rosemary translated the one word she had already learned in the fairy tongue. “Neverland.”



Audrey Greathouse is a lost child in a perpetual and footloose quest for her own post-adolescent Neverland. Originally from Seattle, she earned her English B.A. from Southern New Hampshire University's online program while backpacking around the west coast and pretending to be a student at Stanford. A pianist, circus artist, fire-eater, street mime, swing dancer, and novelist, Audrey wears many hats wherever she is. She has grand hopes for the future which include publishing more books and owning a crockpot. You can find her at audreygreathouse.com

a Rafflecopter giveaway

At bedtime a few weeks ago, we reached Level: Desperation. Max's pre-bedtime anxiety had hit a breaking point and so had I. For days leading up to that particular bedtime, there had been tears. Painful, sobbing tears over something that hadn't even happened yet, but that he knew was coming. His tears, leading up to the final kiss goodnight, and mine once I left his room. But really, the trouble had been brewing for weeks.

Max had been having nightmares nearly every night. At some point between midnight and 5am, he'd come running (literally, running) into my bed, curl up tight against me, his chest heaving, his cheeks wet with tears. Our night disrupted, sometimes for an hour or more as he resettled into sleep, we'd both wake groggy and cranky. In anticipation of the nightmare to come, bedtimes had become the worst parts of our days. His tears were starting earlier and earlier before tuck-in.

We had tried everything we could think of: we left his light on, piled his buddies all around him, shut his door tightly (at his request), talked about his worries while snuggling, validated his concerns while tickling his back, etc. Still, his tears started creeping back closer and closer to dinnertime, threatening to ruin our attempt at calm and pleasant Family Evenings.

Finally, we reached the bedtime of Desperation. I posted this photo and appealed for help from my Instagram family:

A photo posted by sarah harris (@sarah.livelaughlearn) on

My people came through and I received lots of great suggestions--guided meditation, a protective ring of amulets and/or buddies around his room, more exercise during the day, "No More Monster Spray," Guatemalan Worry Dolls, extra night lights, a Good Dreams Fairy, etc. I was anxious to try everything at once...they all seemed like such promising ideas. I needed to take it slowly, though...one thing at a time.

The very next day, we made dreamcatchers.



We talked about how it would catch his bad dreams before they got to him. In the morning, we would shake it out and send the bad dreams away for good. He asked if it was "real." "Does it really catch them? Do dreams fly through the room before they get into my head?" I told him it was a symbol. Dreams don't fly through the room, but before bed each night, if you look at your dreamcatcher, it will remind you that you're in charge. Put the bad dreams in there so you have room in your head for the good dreams.

We talk a lot about having a Not My Problem Zone in our heads, too. When you hear something that has nothing to do with you and isn't in your power to solve, you can put it in your Not My Problem Zone, leaving room in your head for solving problems that are in your power to solve. For the kids, we use it keep them focused on their own business and not wrapped up with what their brother or sister or friend is doing. For me, it's helpful in letting me keep on living and raising my babies in this world that seems so terrible at times. ISIS? Not My Problem Zone. There are other brave people working on that one. Teacher Appreciation Week? Okay, cool. I'm on it.

We hung his dreamcatcher next to his bed (and one in Molly's room, too) and it seemed to help...for a night or two, then the tears started to creep back in. We tried a few of the other suggestions but nothing really seemed to stick...until Max came up with a solution on his own.

He asked Molly to move in.



For the past three weeks, Molly has been sleeping in a sleeping bag on Max's floor. One or both of them still winds up in our bed at some point in the middle of the night, but since that very first night of cohabitation, there have been No More Tears. None. Not one.

It was working so well, in fact, that we decided to make the move a permanent one.


Lesson Learned:
And from this day henceforth, I shall curse the damned top bunk on Sheets Changing Day. 

But the sweetness that is our new tear-free bedtime makes it all worth it.

The Answer was Molly

Posted at  05.51 - by Unknown

At bedtime a few weeks ago, we reached Level: Desperation. Max's pre-bedtime anxiety had hit a breaking point and so had I. For days leading up to that particular bedtime, there had been tears. Painful, sobbing tears over something that hadn't even happened yet, but that he knew was coming. His tears, leading up to the final kiss goodnight, and mine once I left his room. But really, the trouble had been brewing for weeks.

Max had been having nightmares nearly every night. At some point between midnight and 5am, he'd come running (literally, running) into my bed, curl up tight against me, his chest heaving, his cheeks wet with tears. Our night disrupted, sometimes for an hour or more as he resettled into sleep, we'd both wake groggy and cranky. In anticipation of the nightmare to come, bedtimes had become the worst parts of our days. His tears were starting earlier and earlier before tuck-in.

We had tried everything we could think of: we left his light on, piled his buddies all around him, shut his door tightly (at his request), talked about his worries while snuggling, validated his concerns while tickling his back, etc. Still, his tears started creeping back closer and closer to dinnertime, threatening to ruin our attempt at calm and pleasant Family Evenings.

Finally, we reached the bedtime of Desperation. I posted this photo and appealed for help from my Instagram family:

A photo posted by sarah harris (@sarah.livelaughlearn) on

My people came through and I received lots of great suggestions--guided meditation, a protective ring of amulets and/or buddies around his room, more exercise during the day, "No More Monster Spray," Guatemalan Worry Dolls, extra night lights, a Good Dreams Fairy, etc. I was anxious to try everything at once...they all seemed like such promising ideas. I needed to take it slowly, though...one thing at a time.

The very next day, we made dreamcatchers.



We talked about how it would catch his bad dreams before they got to him. In the morning, we would shake it out and send the bad dreams away for good. He asked if it was "real." "Does it really catch them? Do dreams fly through the room before they get into my head?" I told him it was a symbol. Dreams don't fly through the room, but before bed each night, if you look at your dreamcatcher, it will remind you that you're in charge. Put the bad dreams in there so you have room in your head for the good dreams.

We talk a lot about having a Not My Problem Zone in our heads, too. When you hear something that has nothing to do with you and isn't in your power to solve, you can put it in your Not My Problem Zone, leaving room in your head for solving problems that are in your power to solve. For the kids, we use it keep them focused on their own business and not wrapped up with what their brother or sister or friend is doing. For me, it's helpful in letting me keep on living and raising my babies in this world that seems so terrible at times. ISIS? Not My Problem Zone. There are other brave people working on that one. Teacher Appreciation Week? Okay, cool. I'm on it.

We hung his dreamcatcher next to his bed (and one in Molly's room, too) and it seemed to help...for a night or two, then the tears started to creep back in. We tried a few of the other suggestions but nothing really seemed to stick...until Max came up with a solution on his own.

He asked Molly to move in.



For the past three weeks, Molly has been sleeping in a sleeping bag on Max's floor. One or both of them still winds up in our bed at some point in the middle of the night, but since that very first night of cohabitation, there have been No More Tears. None. Not one.

It was working so well, in fact, that we decided to make the move a permanent one.


Lesson Learned:
And from this day henceforth, I shall curse the damned top bunk on Sheets Changing Day. 

But the sweetness that is our new tear-free bedtime makes it all worth it.

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